If you are trying to survive infidelity then I truly hope this article will give you some help - and at least a bit of direction. ArabianDate.com review Surviving infidelity is one of the hardest and most hurtful things a person can do - and you may even be wondering how your marriage can possibly get back to a wonderful state. Is it possible to have a strong relationship again? The answer is yes - I have heard so many stories of couples who have survived infidelity and found better times ahead of them. Let's get into this article and lay down a few rules that should help you along.
After The Affair - What Do You Do?
After you were cheated on, you
faced the loss of trust in the relationship. The betrayal. The strong emotional
connection was lost, and the trust is gone. Right now you are probably overcome
with questions like "Will we ever have a normal loving marriage
again?" or "They'll never change, our relationship is doomed to
fail."
Rebuilding your relationship might
sound like a huge task right now - and it is - but with the right steps it can
be made a bit easier each day. Elitesingles It won't happen
right away, but it will happen - even if you are the only one set on getting it
done. Here are the rules below that you should attempt to follow, as it has
worked for others.
Rule #1 - Honesty is Key
You must implement this first and
foremost with your spouse. From now one, at this point in time, you will have
100% honesty between you. Literally. There should be nothing hidden, no
secrets. However, this does NOT mean that you will go and backtrack now, (I
will go into this below.) Meaning - you won't use this new 100% honesty rule to
go back and ask every single possible question - that's a very dangerous thing
to do. Just agree that there won't be any -new- secrets locked away. If you've
ever had a friend, or maybe your husband / wife, that has told you something -
but you just knew they weren't telling you the whole story - then you know
exactly what I mean. LovingFeel.com These are
the things that you need to avoid. 100% honesty will leave nobody in doubt and
help to move you forward.
Rule #2 - Make Rules For
Questioning (Important!)
This is a very, very important
rule. You see, when somebody is cheated on, it is natural to have the images
replaying over and over in your head. You have so many questions, and you want
to know all the details. You don't ONLY want to know all the details - you'd
rather THEY tell you the details. It's a very natural thing, but unfortunately,
when we act on these emotions we can further hurt the relationship. If you ask
a question that you don't really want to know the answer to - don't ask it. You
aren't acting naïve, it is just putting the focus on what you really want: to
survive the infidelity and rebuild your marriage.
Try to decide on types of
questions, a list of questions, and more importantly - which questions are not
okay. Don't argue over this - it should be a normal, 100% honest (see Rule 1,)
conversation. There must be diplomacy here.
Rule #3 - Arranging a Time to Talk
(Super Important)
Without getting too much off track,
I want to give you a quick insight: an affair usually happens because there was
a break down in communication. Even if you think the relationship is going
well, sometimes there are communication barriers that lead to an affair. So
imagine this: the affair happened because there was a lack in communication...
And now that you know about the affair.. Guess what is most important?
Communication!
It's a terrible cycle, but you need
to end it here. Set a time to talk. Set a place. You MUST do this. You can't
focus on the symptoms of your real problem (the affair is a symptom.) You have
to talk to your spouse. Set up a time and place that you are both comfortable
with, and a time and place that you can both mentally prepare for (it can be
very draining.)
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